It's a long-weekend here in Phili! August 29 , a Monday; marks National Heroes’ Day while August 30, Tuesday; is the end of Ramadan, both dates have been declared non-working holidays. And nothing beats starting one's holiday with old friends, great food and an eye-opening conversation.
That Saturday night I met up with my two college buds at "The Coffee Shop Restaurant" - it is a well known local landmark here in my city, having been established back in 1984. The restaurant serves a variety of local and international cusines, known for their best-tasting jumbo taco (it overflows a 9-inch plate).
It was like a reunion composed of three "mature" men with the neanderthalistic inclination from high school. Without leaving the building, we took the fastest rocket back to our long gone college days.
In occasions such as this, relationship questions are inevitable. It's only common to put your romantic affairs in the spotlight. Friends will interrogate, dissect even butcher your love life. One of my friends asked me who am I dating at present, in an attempt to be truthful with an assumption that my honesty would shut him up, I answered instantly with "I'm taking a breather!" The other friend immediately stated, "Why don't you just date one of your students!", in a tone that doesn't seem to be asking, but imposing.
On the way home from that dinner, I decided to brave the evening rain showers to have a brief moment for myself. I wondered...In today's gender sensitive culture are the men of my generation growing into responsible and emotionally stable adults or are we morphing into wimps scared of taking chances, resulting in the lowering of our qualifications in searching for "the one"?
I always thought that it is quite unprofessional to date a colleague and definitely it is highly unethical to date one of your students. Just the idea of dating an individual 15 - 20 years my junior is enough to give me the creeps. When a person stayed in his profession long enough, he is supposed to get wiser and that includes the knowledge of making sane decisions about dating. What people to pick and where to meet them.
Sometimes it's nice to look back on simpler days. When educators were like parents, like fathers to their students. Think of the inspirational male teacher characters like John Keating (played by Robin Williams in the film Dead Poet's Society) and Jaime Escalante (Edward James Olmos of Stand and Deliver). Escalante's educative efforts are excellent. Keating is charismatic and creative as "My Captain". Both were pillars of strength, support and discipline. Their work were endless and, oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it showed in the sound, well-adjusted students they raised.
Now it may well be argued that, off the silver screen, it is men who are much more likely to have to wear the tag of violators. This is certainly true. I do think that there are real constraint that make it almost impossible for men to do caring academic and cultural work at the moment. As a result of media sensationalism and true revelations of such violations in the past and present.
In these days of polarized sexual politics, the value of a great male teacher is often overlooked. But there are few things as valuable as a fatherly educator who will do everything he can, and provide all the tools he has so that his students can become better than him.
In the end, I have weighed. In a profession like teaching, with its paces and pressures, sometimes it is important to reflect on the shortcomings of others to strengthen our morale fibers. To remember that the best things in a teacher's life is upholding your dignity, nurturing the trust and respect of the community and sustaining a stronger claim to greatness through our passion for power in learning.
